I was feeling pretty overwhelmed earlier.. not as a result of any specific issue but a multitude of them. Especially now is the end of the weekend. I didn't finish all the things I have planned to finish. Sigh.
Then I read a devotion from K-Love, which I'd like to share here. It says:

When trouble comes, do these three things:

1. Get alone with God.
Psalm 27:5 says, "In the time of trouble, He shall hide me in His pavilion"
All hell could break loose around you but it didn't matter, in the secret place there was peace.
Are you allowing things to overwhelm you that really don't make a difference?
Are you upset over things that should be dismissed as trivialities?

2. Refuse to live beyond help because you have an image to uphold.
The Bible says those of us who are strong ought to bear the burdens of the weak. There are times when we need to do the lifting; and times when we ourselves need to be lifted.

3. Be sensitive to the voice of the Holy Spirit for He will constantly remind you of God's plan, and show you how to carry it out.
And here is Jesus' promise in John 14 that really comforted me tonight.

John 14:15-27
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever--the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him."

Then Judas (not Judas Iscariot) said, "But, Lord, why do you intend to show yourself to us and not to the world?"

Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. He who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.

"All this I have spoken while still with you. But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

 

Me, Myself, and My Love

The last two months were ugly for me, spiritually. I unintentionally withdrew myself from God as I spent less and less devotional time with Him and did not obey His command/reminder. The one thing I struggled the most was about loving someone.
I used to think that I cared about this person X a lot that I always got sad when X did not do the right things, in my opinion. Over time, I learned that nothing I do or say could make any difference to X's way of thinking and actions, I felt so undermined and desperate. I then learned to numb the pain by keep telling myself that X was just a 'neighbor buddy' or a 'friend I just met once', thus I should not care too much (or practically speaking: ignore). After a while, this worked.
My little heart kept telling me that I was a bad person and that God wants me to restore the relationship. But I never wanted to return. Not ever. The past hurts, and I am ready to live for myself.

Last week, as I was talking to my mom about this problem, she gently reminded me:
"If you love someone, why do you want him/her to be like you? or to do what you do? You should love them as they are, and even if they do not reply (love) you back."
Her last remark was, "Think of what Jesus would do. Doesn't He always love you even though many times you don't remember Him or disobey Him?"

I got so sad. All these times I have been suppressing the very spirit God has put in my heart, that told me I need to change, I need to change. I know my love is superficial. I am always eager to share my love with others, but at some point, I want to be recognized, to be loved back. How selfish. And this God's very words have to come from my mom, who is not a believer. How good of salt and light have I been!
C.S. Lewis in his book "Mere Christianity" says that loving our enemy does not mean we have to love their bad actions, as we still love ourselves regardless of our bad actions. In the journey, we depend on God and are full of hope that we keep improving (being a better person). Similarly, we should help our enemies to depend on God, and we should be full of hope that they will change and be better people. This is what it means to love our neighbor as we love ourselves.
On a side note: I take 'enemy' as not only the people we consider harmful (such as terrorists, robbers) but also those who we hate in our daily life (such as irritating colleagues).

Last week I fasted. I really want to kill my pride and change my attitude towards X. I want to care, but not ask to be cared back. I will try to fix this relationship and be a better person.
Will you?

Worship that pleases God

Friends, I'm posting this devotional material I got from CCBC that taught me a lot. May you be blessed as I am!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
God wants all of us!! He doesn’t want a part of us. He asks for all our hearts, our
souls, our minds, and our strength. And He is not interested in half-hearted
commitment or partial obedience. God desires a full devotion of us, not little bits
of our life. That is what God calls worship.

Today many equate worship with being emotionally moved by sound of music,
but that is not the same. Real worship takes place when our spirit responds to
God, and not to some musical tone. It is always good that we can praises God
with our voice and musical instruments, but that alone is not enough.

The best style of worship is the one that most authentically reflects our love for
God. He is pleased when our worship is thoughtful. But if our worship is
mindless, it is meaningless. No matter how long we sing unto the Lord or how
beautiful we sing to Him, but if we don’t respond with our spirit, it is
meaningless. And Jesus called that thoughtless worship “vain
repetitions” (Matthew 6:7).

Another thing we must know about worship that pleases the Lord: God is
pleased when our worship is practical. The of book of Romans 11:1-2 explains
about our true act of worship. It says, “Offer your body as living sacrifice...”
Now, why does God want our body? Why He doesn’t say “Offer your spirit”? It
is because without our body we can’t do anything on this planet! In eternity we
will receive new, improved, upgraded body, but while we’re on earth, God says,
“Give me what you’ve go!” God is just being practical about worship..

In worship we are to “offer” our bodies as living sacrifices. People say, “I can’t
make it to the prayer, but I’ll be with you in spirit”. Do you know what that
means? It means nothing. It’s meaningless. As long as we’re on earth, our spirit
can only be where our body is. If our body isn’t there, neither are we.
Friends, a real worship is costly. David knew this and said, “I will not offer the
Lord my God sacrifices that have cost me nothing”.

True worship always takes effort and energy. It is not always convenient and
sometimes it requires a willing sacrifice.

Shadow Mission

A shadow mission is something that is deeply important to us but that leads us away from God’s purposes for our lives since shadow mission is fueled with our pride and past wound. It’s typically just a few degrees off from God's will, but those few degrees is leading us straight to hell.
There is no Jesus in our shadow mission. Beneath our mission for God lies our shadow mission. All Christians have one. Some give in to it, some about to and some don’t, but it lurks beneath the surface nonetheless.

As I listened to John Ortberg teaching this evening, I wonder about what is my shadow mission. I think I know what it is, but was afraid to admit it. John took us through the book of Esther, where Queen Esther has a shadow mission. In the previous chapter, King Xerxes' chief of staff, Haman because of his hatred for Mordecai, Queen Esther's uncle, plot to destroy the Jews. But Esther was afraid to challenge the King to save her people since Queen Esther is a Jew.
This is what she said to Mordecai, "All the king's officials and the people of the royal provinces know that for any man or woman who approaches the king in the inner court without being summoned the king has but one law: that he be put to death. The only exception to this is for the king to extend the gold scepter to him and spare his life. But thirty days have passed since I was called to go to the king."
Mordecai sent back this answer: "Do not think that because you are in the king's house you alone of all the Jews will escape. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"

Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: "Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my maids will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish."

If you continued to read the book of Esther, Esther saved her people from destruction, Haman was hanged for his hatred and Mordecai became the King's chief of staff.

Esther's shadow mission was life of comfort and security and her genuine mission was to save the Jew so our Lord Jesus can be born.

So ask these questions in your life:
1. What is your shadow mission in life?
What sinister things that will take you out of your genuine mission?
Find out what it is and pray that God will keep you away from it. Share it with your trusted friends so they can hold you accountable for it.

2. Did God put you in royal position right now or where you are right now for a reason?

3. Who is Mordecai in your life?
Do you have someone in your life who love you enough to challenge you when you are drifting from God's will?

We need more Mordecai in our life. Somebody that will challenge us and hold us accountable.

How many time churches and organizations got destroyed because of scandals because we are afraid to challenge someone.

How many time the name of Jesus Christ got dragged through the mud because we are afraid to challenge someone...

Second Chance(s)

Sebagai manusia, tentunya kita tidak pernah luput dari kesalahan, baik yang disengaja maupun yang tak disengaja. Kita sebagai anak-anak Tuhan sudah sepantasnya selalu mencoba membuat Bapa kita tersenyum bangga. Kita berusaha sebaik-baiknya untuk selalu menyenangkan Dia dengan tidak jatuh dalam dosa.

Beberapa minggu terakhir ini, saya menemukan diri saya berjanji pada diri sendiri dan Tuhan bahwa saya ingin menjadi orang yang lebih baik. Saya janji tidak ngegosip di kantor, tidak menjelek-jelekkan orang lain, rajn bangun lebih pagi buat quiet time, tidak memakai uang untuk shopping melainkan untuk charity, selalu bersyukur apapun situasi dan kondisi saya, tidak egois memikirkan diri sendiri, lebih peka terhadap persoalan orang lain, dan pengontrolan diri yang maha dashyat!

Dan manusia memang makhluk yang sungguh menyebalkan, bukan?

Satu hari saya sukses tidak ngegosip, pastinya Tuhan tepuk tangan diatas sana - turut merayakan, turut bergembira, YAY! - only to find out that keesokan harinya, si A dari kantor sebelah bilang, "Ugh! Don't you just hate that annoying lady in accounting?" - yang lantas disambut dengan penuh semangat oleh saya, "Oh dude. Don't get me started on that one!" yang lantas berlanjut menjadi 10 minutes of character assassination.

Tuhan pun menundukkan kepala, bermuram durja.

"I was so good yesterday," saya membatin.
"What happened today?"

Today... is another day, Nit.
Today is another story.

Dengan amat mudah kita bisa terperosok dalam dosa dan dengan malas kita bisa bilang bahwa kita tidak perlu repot-repot keluar dari lubang ini. "Untuk apa? Nantinya pasti saya juga jatuh lagi. Daripada sakit jatuh berulang-ulang, mendingan saya diam dan tinggal disini saja. Bukankah ini hal yang sangat masuk di akal? Kalau sudah berada dalam lubang dosa, bagaimana kita bisa 'jatuh' lagi ke dalam dosa?"

Kita tahu bahwa pengampunan Tuhan baru setiap pagi. Setiap hari kita diberikan kesempatan kedua, untuk redeem ourselves - untuk bangkit lagi, berubah menjadi lebih baik. Mungkin kita berhasil dengan gemilang, mungkin juga kita gagal total. Tapi percayalah, Tuhan tidak melihat berhasil atau tidaknya usaha kita tersebut. Tuhan melihat hati kita, kemauan kita. Apakah kita senantiasa berkeinginan untuk menyenangkan Dia? Apakah kita berusaha dengan seluruh badan, pikiran, dan jiwa kita untuk melakukan kehendakNya? Apakah kita menerima dan menggunakan kasihNya yang selalu baru setiap hari untuk bertumbuh semakin dekat denganNya?

Seberapa sering sih kita manusia memberikan kesempatan kedua terhadap orang yang telah menyakiti kita? Si A pernah bohong, si B tukang maling, si C tukang tipu. Adalah bodoh jika setelah kita mengetahui fakta ini, kita langsung percaya semua perkataan A, meninggalkan B di rumah kita sendirian, dan meminjamkan uang kepada C. Tidak, kita tidak mau lagi disakiti. No second chance for them; absolute NO NO!

Lantas, apa Tuhan bodoh? Apa Tuhan bodoh memberikan kita kesempatan kedua setelah beracap kali kita mengecewakan Dia? (yang, by the way, bukan hanya sekali saja lho... mungkin lebih tepat kalau dibilang Tuhan memberikan kita kesempatan ke lima-belas-milyar kalinya untuk memperbaiki diri).

AnugerahNya baru setiap pagi. Kesempatan kedua itu datang ketika kita membuka mata setiap pagi. Dan Tuhan tidak bodoh memberikan kita kesempatan kedua tersebut walau sudah berulang kali kita mengecewakan Dia. Dia memberikannya karena cintaNya yang teramat besar kepada kita semua.

Bukankah itu pengorbanan yang paling berarti? Cinta tak bersyarat, this thing called "unconditional love"? Yang menjadi alasan mengapa Yesus Kristus mati di kayu salib untuk saya, kamu, dan mereka.

May the Wind Be Always at Your Back

Siung, Sinta, Renny, Chris, Jenny, Hady, Yuli and me completed our 5K Run/3K Walk this morning. It was a moving experience as we saw the numbers the people supporting this program.





In developing countries, 6 million children die each year, mostly from hunger-related causes. You can help give these children hope for a future. Their families are living on less than $1.00 a day. Every $30 raised in donations supports a child for one month with $360 supporting a child for one year.
Our race is over but you can still help fight this hunger battle by donating to:
http://www.firstgiving.com/
and look for Siung, Sinta, Renny, Chris, Jenny and Robert fundraising page.

Thank you for friends that have supported this ministry, thank you all for your generous giving.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." (Galatians 6: 9)

Harvest Worship

The worship team at my church, Harvest Bible Chapel, is going to have a worship recording event on June 4, 2008. It will be just like a regular concert, except it is recorded live. Their songs are great, and it is free for us to attend, so.. consider it!

Harvest Live is an interactive concert and worship event at the Elgin Campus on Wednesday night, June 4, 2008. Featuring Harvest worship leaders Andi Rozier, Josh Caterer, Lindsay McCaul, Meredith Andrews, Luke MacDonald, Steve Busch, (HBC Michigan) and Josh Seller (HBC Oakville, Canada). Go online at harvestliveworship.org to learn some of the new songs and for more information.

Have a wonderful weekend!