On the last bible study we were challenged to spend more time with God. I was planning to read my bible tonight, but when I was listening to the radio this afternoon I heard about Francis Chan, I remember him speaking at my church a long while ago. So I went to You Tube and looked for some of his video, one I found interesting, the title says "Luke Warm & Loving It". He was preaching from the Book of Revelation and read one of the letters, which some of us read probably many times, the passages say:
14"To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:
These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God's creation. 15I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. 18I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. 19Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. 20Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. 21To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. 22He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches."
I missed those days when I first met Christ, wide eyes over Him, on fire about Him. A friend warned me about this before, that the fire may go out over time if I don't keep it alive, keep stoking the fire. I heard him and I made a promise in my heart that I will not let this happens. However, the passages above warned me. It says that I thought that I was rich and have comfort, but I am wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I'm not a rich man by any means, but we are rich compare to the rest of the world. We have comfort. Most people I know including me don't worry about if we are going to eat tomorrow. We worry about what we are going to eat tomorrow. All I'm saying is that I have comfortable living and if I worry, I'm not worry about how I can really make an impact for the Kingdom. At least not anymore.
I missed that kid, a kid that was just saved, so young in the faith, the kid that was devouring the bible until he was so tired he couldn't read anymore. A kid that just got this world turned upside down and didn't care, because he has this new faith in God, a new hope in God, a new life in God. I really do miss him. He found the Kingdom of Heaven.
"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field."
But I think now I feel like I'm not really on fire anymore, I feel lukewarm. I forgot what true riches are. I forgot that not all that glitters in life is gold. I need to get the true gold refined in the fire.
But God still love us. Those whom God loves He will rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. God is standing at the door and knocking. If anyone hears His voice and opens the door, He will come in and eat with him, and he with Him. I never enjoyed God's discipline but I know He wants me to learn about something, He wants me to give up certain things in my life, trivial things in my life.
Sometime I forgot about this grand vision about Heaven:
2At once I was in the Spirit, and there before me was a throne in heaven with someone sitting on it. 3And the one who sat there had the appearance of jasper and carnelian. A rainbow, resembling an emerald, encircled the throne. 4Surrounding the throne were twenty-four other thrones, and seated on them were twenty-four elders. They were dressed in white and had crowns of gold on their heads. 5From the throne came flashes of lightning, rumblings and peals of thunder. Before the throne, seven lamps were blazing. These are the seven spirits of God. 6Also before the throne there was what looked like a sea of glass, clear as crystal.
In the center, around the throne, were four living creatures, and they were covered with eyes, in front and in back. 7The first living creature was like a lion, the second was like an ox, the third had a face like a man, the fourth was like a flying eagle. 8Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under his wings. Day and night they never stop saying: "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come." 9Whenever the living creatures give glory, honor and thanks to him who sits on the throne and who lives for ever and ever, 10the twenty-four elders fall down before him who sits on the throne, and worship him who lives for ever and ever. They lay their crowns before the throne and say:
11"You are worthy, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they were created
and have their being."
I really need to break out of my comfort zone, this comfort living, not conforming to this world any longer and not worrying about stuff this world worries.
I prayed to God to show me the lukewarm areas in my life, to give me strength and more importantly to be on fire again about His Kingdom.
*You can watch Francis Chan sermon here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBhqrtMqrv8&feature=related
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Friday, April 2, 2010
I need to slow down
I am a busy person, I have to admit. Or maybe I am not so busy but I make myself busy. When I have "spare" time, I feel weird. Literally, I will feel like something is wrong and I get restless. Sadly I am a person who cannot relax.
This may be surprising to you, but even though I do lots of volunteer work, and occupy most of my time preparing or doing those work, deep in me I know that I am serving myself much more than I do other people, especially those who are the closest to me. God reminds me of this all the time, but I close my ears and am unwilling to change. My ego keeps saying that I do not have time for others, instead I have to finish this and that--all that are about my stuffs.
This time, I think God calls me loud enough that I pay attention. This story is quoted from "the naked soul" by Tim Alan Gardner. It actually came from a university commencement address that Fred Rogers (PBS) addressed in 2002. It is a beautiful story and really knocks on my heart.
For a long time I wondered why I felt like bowing when people showed their appreciation for the work that I've been privileged to do. What I've come to understand is that we who bow are probably--whether we know it or not--acknowledging the presence of the eternal: we're bowing to the eternal in our neighbor. You see, I believe that appreciation is a holy thing, that when we look for what's best in the person we happen to be with at the moment, we're doing what God does. So, in loving and appreciating our neighbor, we're participating in something truly sacred....
I wonder if you've heard what happened at the Seattle Special Olympics a few years ago. For the 100-yard dash there were nine contestants...and at the sound of the gun they took off. But one little boy stumbled and fell and hurt his knee and began to cry. The other eight children heard the boy crying. They slowed down, turned around, saw the boy and ran back to him--every one of them ran back to him. One little girl with Down syndrome bent down and kissed the boy and said, "This will make it better."
The little boy got up, and he and the rest of the runners linked their arms together and joyfully walked to the finish line.
They all finished the race at the same time. And when they did, everyone in the stadium stood up and clapped and whistled and cheered.... Deep down we know that what matters in this life is much more than winning for ourselves. What really matters is helping others win, too, even if it means slowing down and changing our course now and then.
I spent most of my time for myself. Even when I am sleeping in the train, I can not really sleep because of thoughts about happenings at work, home, with friends, and everything else. In many occasions, I personally avoid going out with friends or visiting them because of the need to manage my personal matters. On top of all that, my thoughts are mostly about problems and pains, instead of gratitude to God. At night, I can easily ask God for help relieving my anxious heart, but will stumble to say, "I am thankful for.." I got to think for that!
I remember one day in the office, I did not say hi nor greet the cleaning lady who was washing the many dishes from my team's potluck. I usually chat with her a bit but that time I was hurrying to get to bus and to the train station, so I purposely avoided meeting her. The plan went well, but I was very unhappy with that decision and felt guilty afterward. Here is someone who washes my lunch containers everyday, is nice to everyone at the office, yet work alone all night. She deserves to a hi and chat for a few minutes the least. I was so selfish.
I definitely need to work on managing my time better. I do want to pursue my interests, but that all means nothing if I do not care for the people closest to me: my family and friends. I pray also that God will give me the heart and compassion to see their needs, and be of help in those areas.
This may be surprising to you, but even though I do lots of volunteer work, and occupy most of my time preparing or doing those work, deep in me I know that I am serving myself much more than I do other people, especially those who are the closest to me. God reminds me of this all the time, but I close my ears and am unwilling to change. My ego keeps saying that I do not have time for others, instead I have to finish this and that--all that are about my stuffs.
This time, I think God calls me loud enough that I pay attention. This story is quoted from "the naked soul" by Tim Alan Gardner. It actually came from a university commencement address that Fred Rogers (PBS) addressed in 2002. It is a beautiful story and really knocks on my heart.
* * * * *
For a long time I wondered why I felt like bowing when people showed their appreciation for the work that I've been privileged to do. What I've come to understand is that we who bow are probably--whether we know it or not--acknowledging the presence of the eternal: we're bowing to the eternal in our neighbor. You see, I believe that appreciation is a holy thing, that when we look for what's best in the person we happen to be with at the moment, we're doing what God does. So, in loving and appreciating our neighbor, we're participating in something truly sacred....
I wonder if you've heard what happened at the Seattle Special Olympics a few years ago. For the 100-yard dash there were nine contestants...and at the sound of the gun they took off. But one little boy stumbled and fell and hurt his knee and began to cry. The other eight children heard the boy crying. They slowed down, turned around, saw the boy and ran back to him--every one of them ran back to him. One little girl with Down syndrome bent down and kissed the boy and said, "This will make it better."
The little boy got up, and he and the rest of the runners linked their arms together and joyfully walked to the finish line.
They all finished the race at the same time. And when they did, everyone in the stadium stood up and clapped and whistled and cheered.... Deep down we know that what matters in this life is much more than winning for ourselves. What really matters is helping others win, too, even if it means slowing down and changing our course now and then.
* * * * *
I spent most of my time for myself. Even when I am sleeping in the train, I can not really sleep because of thoughts about happenings at work, home, with friends, and everything else. In many occasions, I personally avoid going out with friends or visiting them because of the need to manage my personal matters. On top of all that, my thoughts are mostly about problems and pains, instead of gratitude to God. At night, I can easily ask God for help relieving my anxious heart, but will stumble to say, "I am thankful for.." I got to think for that!
I remember one day in the office, I did not say hi nor greet the cleaning lady who was washing the many dishes from my team's potluck. I usually chat with her a bit but that time I was hurrying to get to bus and to the train station, so I purposely avoided meeting her. The plan went well, but I was very unhappy with that decision and felt guilty afterward. Here is someone who washes my lunch containers everyday, is nice to everyone at the office, yet work alone all night. She deserves to a hi and chat for a few minutes the least. I was so selfish.
I definitely need to work on managing my time better. I do want to pursue my interests, but that all means nothing if I do not care for the people closest to me: my family and friends. I pray also that God will give me the heart and compassion to see their needs, and be of help in those areas.
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