Dating Commandment VII:
Thou Shalt be Dedicated to Grow!
The most frustrated and miserable people in marriages are those who married a spouse who are not willing to grow. By grow it means identify what needs to be worked on in a relationship and do whatever it needs to do in that relationship. It maybe by reading a book, getting resources, joining a bible study group or even going to a Christian counseling. Find someone who has an open mind and willing to grow. We are always growing. It’s either we are growing to get closer to Christ or move away from Him.
Dating Commandment VIII:
Thou Shalt Have a Healthy Boundary Around Sex! (Caution: Adult Mature Theme)
SAVE SEX FOR MARRIAGE!
God sets up boundaries around sex, because He loves you and He doesn’t want you to get hurt. When you close sexually to a person, you are giving all of yourself to that person. It is one of the most close intimate experience you will ever have, and God wants to protect you by having that experience in a context of a marriage, in a committed love in marriage. God knows how delicate your heart is in this area.
Sexual Purity Verses:
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything. Food is for the stomach, and the stomach is for food; but God will do away with both of them. Yet the body is not for immorality, but for the Lord; and the Lord is for the body. Now God has not only raised the Lord, but will also raise us up through His power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? May it never be! Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a harlot is one body with her? For He says, “The two will become one flesh.” But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body.
Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
Galatians 5:19 - 21 Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you just as I have forewarned you that those who practice such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
Ephesians 5:3 But do not let immorality or any impurity or greed even be named among you, as is proper among saints.
1 Thessalonians 4:1 – 8 Finally then, brethren, we request and exhort you in the Lord Jesus, that, as you received from us instruction as to how you ought to walk and please God (just as you actually do walk), that you may and excel still more. For you know what commandments we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God; and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification. Consequently, he who rejects this is not rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you.
The bottom line is sex for us who are single, needs to wait until marriage.
When we are in disobedient in this area, there will be consequences that we will pay in the future. You will carry an emotional baggage in your life as a result from sexual relationship before marriage.
Just think about this, if you with your dating partner can abstain from sex before marriage, to have self-control in this area, just imagine how this will build the confidence in your relationship on setting up boundaries on other things in your relationship and throughout your life. Things such as setting boundaries in handling finance, raising and handling your children, interaction with the opposite sex and etc. If you take sex out of the equation in your relationship, you can have the time to really get to know each other, to build on your relationship, to deepen your friendship, to deepen your intimate emotional relationship.
Sex is defined as oral or genital stimulation to orgasm outside the clothes or underneath the clothes and genital intercourse.
So how do we set the limits?
1. Spend some time to write a purity covenant before God with your partner. Slip it in your bible as a reminder.
2. Have an accountability partner. Find someone the same gender as you are, that you trust that can challenge you in this area.
3. Remove the temptation from your relationship. For example avoid spending time together alone in the bedroom late at night, avoid putting yourselves in a situation where the sexual temptation may arise and stay out of the “swimsuit” area of your body (use your imagination) until you both get married.
If you honor God in this area, God will honor your relationship.
To those of you who remains a virgin and honors God with your purity, God bless you, God bless you that in this sex crazed culture you have won this battle. Don’t let other people undermine you and don’t let other people make fun of you because of your choice to remain pure before God.
To those of you who had not remain pure in this area, those who had made compromise in the past in the area of sexual purity, “as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us”, God forgave you and you have to draw a line in the sand from now on and decided to make a new commitment before Christ.
Dating Commandment IX:
Thou Shalt Seek Wise Counsel!
Wisdom is learning from other people and not to repeat their mistake. Learn the wisdom from the bible, from this love letter from God and ask God for wisdom. Learn from godly couples that you know and try to soak the wisdom that came from their successful marriage. Good marriage is a hard work, but the pay off is well worth it. Be the best student of your partner.
Dating Commandment X:
Thou Shalt Not Ignore the Warning Signs!
Be wise. Don’t jump in to fast in a dating relationship. You will recognize these warning signals when you get know someone more and more, do not ignore them. Have a moment of reflection on those signals.
On final note, for those of you who are dating or thinking about dating, honor God with your relationship. Keep yourself pure, and grow spiritually together, don't let your dating partner pull you away from Christ and pull you away from serving God. No one person is worth it, compared to the love that God has lavished us in pour life.
Remember for all of you singles out there, that when Lord Jesus was in this world, He was a single man and He did miraculous things in His ministry. You too as a single can have a complete life, a wonderful ministry to further the Kingdom of God.
* Special thanks to WCCC
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