The 10 Commandments of Dating (Part 2)

Dating Commandment IV:

Thou shalt not isolate!
Often times we saw ourselves or our friends disappear after they got into a relationship. Vanished and never to be found. This is actually is pretty unhealthy, for a relationship to be healthy we need feedback from people that we trust and care about our best interest.


Dating Commandment V:
Thou shalt stand firm in thy faith!
NO MISSIONARY DATING!
What is that? It is a long term relationship with a non-believer hoping that someday we can change them to be a Christ follower. Only they and God can change them.
Please don't fall in love with someone who is not in love with your First Love, Jesus Christ.
The Apostle Paul warned the believers in Corinth about this.
"Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?" (2 Cor 6: 14-15)
When 2 cattle are yoked together, they will lift each other's load to go forward. The stronger cattle will actually carry the weaker cattle in the same yoke. Now imagine if the two cattle have unequal yoke, one will go to the left and one will go to the right, one will drag the other, imagine the frustration.

Even a relationship between two believers, we need to know where each other is in their spiritual journey. Ask deep questions about their faith journey in first 1-3 dates to find out about how they accepted Christ, how is their serving life, their prayer life, etc.

Couple with same faith that serve together and pray together will have a better chance of success in their marriage.

If you caved in to compromise about your faith in your relationship, there might be some underlining issues that you need to ponder and address. Issues such as acceptance, neediness, etc.


Dating Commandment VI:
Thou shalt learn to fight fair!
FIGHT IS INEVITABLE!
It is not a question of if, it is a question of when.

Asses yourselves on how you handle conflict:
Is it:
1. Withdrawal?
Avoid conflict at all cost, passive, no talking about it. This is Unhealthy way.
2. Give-In Style?
The people pleaser. This requires no courage but high on consideration for other. This is also Unhealthy way.
3. Stand Your Ground?
My way or the highway. This requires big courage but low consideration for other. You could win the battle but could lose the relationship. This is also Unhealthy way.
4. Compromise?
Let's meet each other halfway. This requires lots of courage and has high consideration for other. Be honest to each other. This is a healthy way.
5. Collaborative?
Our way. This requires lots of courage and has the highest consideration for other. This is the BEST way.

If you made mistakes, this is a very BAD way to apologize:
"I'm sorry you feel that way..."
"I apologized, now your turn."
This is pretty insincere apologies.

We are not a mind reader, therefore the great need to communicate. We don't know the motive when our loved one made the offence.

"...bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do." (Colossians 3: 13)

When you like to mend your relationship with your love one, you should say these 3 things sincerely:
1. I'm sorry. (Not, I'm sorry, but...)
2. Please forgive me, when you ready.
3. I forgive you (if the other is asking for forgiveness).

...to be continued.