The following paragraphs are excerpted from the book Follow Your Heart, by Andrew Matthews.
There once lived a farmer. He had a son and a horse. One day the farmer's horse ran away, and all his neighbors came to console him, saying: "What bad luck that your horse has run away!"
And the old man replied: "Who knows if it's good luck or bad luck."
"Of course it's bad luck!" said the neighbors.
Within a week, the farmer's horse returned home, followed by twenty wild horses. The farmer's neighbors came to celebrate, saying: "What good luck that you have your horse back--plus another twenty!"
And the old man replied: "Who knows if it's good luck or bad luck!"
The next day the farmer's son was riding amongst the wild horses, and fell and broke his leg. The neighbors came to console him, saying: "What bad luck!"
And the farmer said: "Who knows if it's good or bad luck!"
And some of the neighbors were angry, and said: "Of course it's bad luck, you silly old fool!"
Another week went by, and an army came through town, enlisting all the fit young men to fight in distant lands. The farmer's son, with his broken leg, was left behind. All the neighbors came to celebrate, saying: "What good luck that your son was left behind!"
And the farmer said: "Who knows?"
We can spend our whole lives figuring everything out. "This is good, that is bad ..." It is futile. We label events as "disasters" when we only see one percent of the picture.
The author talks about good luck and bad luck. From Christianity point of view, we can translate it to good blessings and--what we consider--not so good one.
Often times when I get something that I like or has hoped for, I think of it as "God has blessed me, praise the Lord." I think that is fine. James 1:16-17 says, "Don't be deceived, my dear brothers. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."
But when I get something that I do not like, or not get something I want, I fret. For example, when an incident happens that requires me to change my routine, takes me out of my comfort zone, hinders me to or fails to achieve some goals. I feel it is natural to feel disappointed or down in the beginning, but usually I let myself get stuck with the mindset of what should and should not happen, what I deserve and not, or why 'good' things happen to other people.. and not me. The truth is, often times I know only "one percent of the picture", therefore cannot make a good judgment of the situation. This is just like what the Proverbs says:
Proverbs 19:21: "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails."
Proverbs 16:9: "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps."
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
What Do You Want on Your Tombstone?
A friend sent me this "Commitment as a Christian" from a pastor in Africa. I can only hope that will be said of us on our tombstone one day.
As for me, I'm still a long way to go...
“I'm part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I'm a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure. I'm finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap living, and dwarfed goals.
I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don't have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by power.
My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven, my road is narrow, my way rough, my companions few, my Guide reliable, my mission clear. I cannot be bought, deluded, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of the adversary, negotiate at the table of the enemy, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.
I won't give up, shut up, let up, until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, preached up for the cause of Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus. I must go till He comes, give till I drop, preach till all know, and work till He stops me. And when He comes for His own, He will have no problem recognizing me--my banner will be clear!”
As for me, I'm still a long way to go...
“I'm part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I'm a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure. I'm finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap living, and dwarfed goals.
I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don't have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by power.
My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven, my road is narrow, my way rough, my companions few, my Guide reliable, my mission clear. I cannot be bought, deluded, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of the adversary, negotiate at the table of the enemy, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.
I won't give up, shut up, let up, until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, preached up for the cause of Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus. I must go till He comes, give till I drop, preach till all know, and work till He stops me. And when He comes for His own, He will have no problem recognizing me--my banner will be clear!”
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Be near me, Lord Jesus...Light of the World...
The ultimate Light has come to our dark world.
He came in a form of a baby, God wrapped in a flesh, for He is called "Immanuel" which means, "God with us." The ultimate Gift for us all, Him who's light is so bright... that those who their life have been touch by Him have that light also.
He commands us, His followers that "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.
In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."
A new dawn is coming, a new chapter is coming for us as the new year is approaching. Let's be that Light, to act justly everyday, loving mercy in every way and walking humbly before our God. God came to this world because He loves all of us and He for a reason beyond my own understanding He actually cares for us and wants to save us, so we can be with Him someday in Heaven.
Now the challenge is "How people that don't believe that God is good and loving may see that He is actually good and loving?". We, His people, are the answer. It may seem like a bad plan to leave God's rescue plan to all of us, the imperfect selfish people. Nevertheless that is part of His plan to show that He is good and full of love. But we are not alone, those who has put his/her trust in Christ Jesus has the gift of Holy Spirit that will guide us, renew us, inspire us and convict us. Jesus promises us also that He will be with us to the very end of the age.
So let's us a group in the coming year try to be that light, show our good deeds, be more loving to our friends, our family, people that God has put in our path and importantly strangers. Let's lovingly challenge each other in these areas, to be the Light-bearer to all people. This is not just a cliche that we read in a Christmas card, we can actually do this.
With that I wish all of you a wonderful and a Merry Christmas. Stay warm, share laugh and love with family, friends...
Thank you Lord Jesus.
You have shown us, what You require
Freely we've received
Now freely we will give
We must go live to feed the hungry
Stand beside the broken
We must go
Stepping forward keep us from just singing
Move us into action
We must go
Fill us up with Your spirit and send us out
Fill us up with Your spirit and send us out
Fill us up with Your spirit and send us out Lord
He came in a form of a baby, God wrapped in a flesh, for He is called "Immanuel" which means, "God with us." The ultimate Gift for us all, Him who's light is so bright... that those who their life have been touch by Him have that light also.
He commands us, His followers that "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.
In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."
A new dawn is coming, a new chapter is coming for us as the new year is approaching. Let's be that Light, to act justly everyday, loving mercy in every way and walking humbly before our God. God came to this world because He loves all of us and He for a reason beyond my own understanding He actually cares for us and wants to save us, so we can be with Him someday in Heaven.
Now the challenge is "How people that don't believe that God is good and loving may see that He is actually good and loving?". We, His people, are the answer. It may seem like a bad plan to leave God's rescue plan to all of us, the imperfect selfish people. Nevertheless that is part of His plan to show that He is good and full of love. But we are not alone, those who has put his/her trust in Christ Jesus has the gift of Holy Spirit that will guide us, renew us, inspire us and convict us. Jesus promises us also that He will be with us to the very end of the age.
So let's us a group in the coming year try to be that light, show our good deeds, be more loving to our friends, our family, people that God has put in our path and importantly strangers. Let's lovingly challenge each other in these areas, to be the Light-bearer to all people. This is not just a cliche that we read in a Christmas card, we can actually do this.
With that I wish all of you a wonderful and a Merry Christmas. Stay warm, share laugh and love with family, friends...
Thank you Lord Jesus.
You have shown us, what You require
Freely we've received
Now freely we will give
We must go live to feed the hungry
Stand beside the broken
We must go
Stepping forward keep us from just singing
Move us into action
We must go
Fill us up with Your spirit and send us out
Fill us up with Your spirit and send us out
Fill us up with Your spirit and send us out Lord
Saturday, December 6, 2008
THE COMPASSION OF CHRIST (RECAP)
Who is Matthew? (Matt 9:9-13)
• A Tax collector, accountant, has a good job, well educated
• One of Jesus’ disciples
• Instant submission (v.9), left everything he has behind and followed Jesus
• Gaul (v.10), invited his tax-collector friends for a dinner with Jesus
Bible Reading on Matthew 9:18-38
v.18-19 Jairus, a leader of synagogue, asked Jesus to come to his place to bring his daughter, who just died, to live.
v.20-22 While walking towards Jairus’ place, a woman who suffered from bleeding for 12 yrs touched his robe. She was considered unclean in the society.
v.23-26 Jesus got into Jairus’ place, people didn’t believe in Jesus, there were asked to leave, and Jesus brought the girl to live.
v.27-31 Continue journey…
Two blind men called Jesus as “The Son of David”, which means The Messiah, to get his attention but Jesus kept walking.
Isaiah prophecy about the ability of The Messiah to heal the blind and the mute in Isaiah 29:18, 35:5, and 42:7.
They followed Jesus, and got healed. Jesus was actually tested their faith and persistence.
v.32-34 The blind men brought their mute/demon possessed friend to Jesus. The mute was healed, but Pharisees accused Jesus using Satan force.
v.35-38 Jesus was doing this whole thing not as a miracle worker, but to show his compassion and healing to the sick world.
Jesus is God, he created the world in fine condition (Genesis 1:31), but all he sees now is sick people and their troubles.
Summary:
Compassion without action is just a pity, or feels sorry.
We need to get out of our comfort zone and do more effort to put our compassion in action.
• A Tax collector, accountant, has a good job, well educated
• One of Jesus’ disciples
• Instant submission (v.9), left everything he has behind and followed Jesus
• Gaul (v.10), invited his tax-collector friends for a dinner with Jesus
Bible Reading on Matthew 9:18-38
v.18-19 Jairus, a leader of synagogue, asked Jesus to come to his place to bring his daughter, who just died, to live.
v.20-22 While walking towards Jairus’ place, a woman who suffered from bleeding for 12 yrs touched his robe. She was considered unclean in the society.
v.23-26 Jesus got into Jairus’ place, people didn’t believe in Jesus, there were asked to leave, and Jesus brought the girl to live.
v.27-31 Continue journey…
Two blind men called Jesus as “The Son of David”, which means The Messiah, to get his attention but Jesus kept walking.
Isaiah prophecy about the ability of The Messiah to heal the blind and the mute in Isaiah 29:18, 35:5, and 42:7.
They followed Jesus, and got healed. Jesus was actually tested their faith and persistence.
v.32-34 The blind men brought their mute/demon possessed friend to Jesus. The mute was healed, but Pharisees accused Jesus using Satan force.
v.35-38 Jesus was doing this whole thing not as a miracle worker, but to show his compassion and healing to the sick world.
Jesus is God, he created the world in fine condition (Genesis 1:31), but all he sees now is sick people and their troubles.
Summary:
Compassion without action is just a pity, or feels sorry.
We need to get out of our comfort zone and do more effort to put our compassion in action.
Monday, December 1, 2008
What's on your wallpaper?
When I worked in SF, I was given the client laptop to use (separate from my company's laptop). I knew I would use it for quite a while, so I started customizing it. One of my favorite things to do is changing the computer screen saver.
As with my other laptops, I set the screen saver to display pictures in My Pictures folder. I want it to display bible verses, instead of other pictures, so.. I have a few templates in Word that I can type in the verses. For each page, I take the screen snapshot and save the picture in My Documents -> My Pictures folder. This is one example:
After a while, I got bored with my wallpaper, too. So I decided to look for a background wallpaper with bible verses in it. Then I found one with this verse in it: Matthew 6:19-21, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
At first I thought of this only to help me memorize verses. But what happened was.. after I started working from Chicago, my laptop was used by a team mate in SF, and apparently he never changed this wallpaper. Just a few weeks ago he told me that now the only bible verse he remembered is Matthew 6:19-21, the one on the wallpaper!
I am never sure if he is a believer, but regardless, it's great to know that he now remembers one bible verse :)
I bring this up just as an idea. If you are bored with your screen saver or wallpaper, try this idea. You can also pick a nice picture as a template, add a bible verse on it (by using Paint), and use it as wallpaper. This way, you can change it every week or so, and use that to memorize bible verses :)
As with my other laptops, I set the screen saver to display pictures in My Pictures folder. I want it to display bible verses, instead of other pictures, so.. I have a few templates in Word that I can type in the verses. For each page, I take the screen snapshot and save the picture in My Documents -> My Pictures folder. This is one example:
After a while, I got bored with my wallpaper, too. So I decided to look for a background wallpaper with bible verses in it. Then I found one with this verse in it: Matthew 6:19-21, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
At first I thought of this only to help me memorize verses. But what happened was.. after I started working from Chicago, my laptop was used by a team mate in SF, and apparently he never changed this wallpaper. Just a few weeks ago he told me that now the only bible verse he remembered is Matthew 6:19-21, the one on the wallpaper!
I am never sure if he is a believer, but regardless, it's great to know that he now remembers one bible verse :)
I bring this up just as an idea. If you are bored with your screen saver or wallpaper, try this idea. You can also pick a nice picture as a template, add a bible verse on it (by using Paint), and use it as wallpaper. This way, you can change it every week or so, and use that to memorize bible verses :)
Sunday, November 2, 2008
The 10 Commandments of Dating (Part 3) (Beware: Mature Discussion Ahead)
Dating Commandment VII:
Thou Shalt be Dedicated to Grow!
The most frustrated and miserable people in marriages are those who married a spouse who are not willing to grow. By grow it means identify what needs to be worked on in a relationship and do whatever it needs to do in that relationship. It maybe by reading a book, getting resources, joining a bible study group or even going to a Christian counseling. Find someone who has an open mind and willing to grow. We are always growing. It’s either we are growing to get closer to Christ or move away from Him.
Dating Commandment VIII:
Thou Shalt Have a Healthy Boundary Around Sex! (Caution: Adult Mature Theme)
SAVE SEX FOR MARRIAGE!
God sets up boundaries around sex, because He loves you and He doesn’t want you to get hurt. When you close sexually to a person, you are giving all of yourself to that person. It is one of the most close intimate experience you will ever have, and God wants to protect you by having that experience in a context of a marriage, in a committed love in marriage. God knows how delicate your heart is in this area.
Sexual Purity Verses:
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything. Food is for the stomach, and the stomach is for food; but God will do away with both of them. Yet the body is not for immorality, but for the Lord; and the Lord is for the body. Now God has not only raised the Lord, but will also raise us up through His power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? May it never be! Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a harlot is one body with her? For He says, “The two will become one flesh.” But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body.
Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
Galatians 5:19 - 21 Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you just as I have forewarned you that those who practice such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
Ephesians 5:3 But do not let immorality or any impurity or greed even be named among you, as is proper among saints.
1 Thessalonians 4:1 – 8 Finally then, brethren, we request and exhort you in the Lord Jesus, that, as you received from us instruction as to how you ought to walk and please God (just as you actually do walk), that you may and excel still more. For you know what commandments we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God; and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification. Consequently, he who rejects this is not rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you.
The bottom line is sex for us who are single, needs to wait until marriage.
When we are in disobedient in this area, there will be consequences that we will pay in the future. You will carry an emotional baggage in your life as a result from sexual relationship before marriage.
Just think about this, if you with your dating partner can abstain from sex before marriage, to have self-control in this area, just imagine how this will build the confidence in your relationship on setting up boundaries on other things in your relationship and throughout your life. Things such as setting boundaries in handling finance, raising and handling your children, interaction with the opposite sex and etc. If you take sex out of the equation in your relationship, you can have the time to really get to know each other, to build on your relationship, to deepen your friendship, to deepen your intimate emotional relationship.
Sex is defined as oral or genital stimulation to orgasm outside the clothes or underneath the clothes and genital intercourse.
So how do we set the limits?
1. Spend some time to write a purity covenant before God with your partner. Slip it in your bible as a reminder.
2. Have an accountability partner. Find someone the same gender as you are, that you trust that can challenge you in this area.
3. Remove the temptation from your relationship. For example avoid spending time together alone in the bedroom late at night, avoid putting yourselves in a situation where the sexual temptation may arise and stay out of the “swimsuit” area of your body (use your imagination) until you both get married.
If you honor God in this area, God will honor your relationship.
To those of you who remains a virgin and honors God with your purity, God bless you, God bless you that in this sex crazed culture you have won this battle. Don’t let other people undermine you and don’t let other people make fun of you because of your choice to remain pure before God.
To those of you who had not remain pure in this area, those who had made compromise in the past in the area of sexual purity, “as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us”, God forgave you and you have to draw a line in the sand from now on and decided to make a new commitment before Christ.
Dating Commandment IX:
Thou Shalt Seek Wise Counsel!
Wisdom is learning from other people and not to repeat their mistake. Learn the wisdom from the bible, from this love letter from God and ask God for wisdom. Learn from godly couples that you know and try to soak the wisdom that came from their successful marriage. Good marriage is a hard work, but the pay off is well worth it. Be the best student of your partner.
Dating Commandment X:
Thou Shalt Not Ignore the Warning Signs!
Be wise. Don’t jump in to fast in a dating relationship. You will recognize these warning signals when you get know someone more and more, do not ignore them. Have a moment of reflection on those signals.
On final note, for those of you who are dating or thinking about dating, honor God with your relationship. Keep yourself pure, and grow spiritually together, don't let your dating partner pull you away from Christ and pull you away from serving God. No one person is worth it, compared to the love that God has lavished us in pour life.
Remember for all of you singles out there, that when Lord Jesus was in this world, He was a single man and He did miraculous things in His ministry. You too as a single can have a complete life, a wonderful ministry to further the Kingdom of God.
* Special thanks to WCCC
Thou Shalt be Dedicated to Grow!
The most frustrated and miserable people in marriages are those who married a spouse who are not willing to grow. By grow it means identify what needs to be worked on in a relationship and do whatever it needs to do in that relationship. It maybe by reading a book, getting resources, joining a bible study group or even going to a Christian counseling. Find someone who has an open mind and willing to grow. We are always growing. It’s either we are growing to get closer to Christ or move away from Him.
Dating Commandment VIII:
Thou Shalt Have a Healthy Boundary Around Sex! (Caution: Adult Mature Theme)
SAVE SEX FOR MARRIAGE!
God sets up boundaries around sex, because He loves you and He doesn’t want you to get hurt. When you close sexually to a person, you are giving all of yourself to that person. It is one of the most close intimate experience you will ever have, and God wants to protect you by having that experience in a context of a marriage, in a committed love in marriage. God knows how delicate your heart is in this area.
Sexual Purity Verses:
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything. Food is for the stomach, and the stomach is for food; but God will do away with both of them. Yet the body is not for immorality, but for the Lord; and the Lord is for the body. Now God has not only raised the Lord, but will also raise us up through His power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? May it never be! Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a harlot is one body with her? For He says, “The two will become one flesh.” But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body.
Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
Galatians 5:19 - 21 Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you just as I have forewarned you that those who practice such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
Ephesians 5:3 But do not let immorality or any impurity or greed even be named among you, as is proper among saints.
1 Thessalonians 4:1 – 8 Finally then, brethren, we request and exhort you in the Lord Jesus, that, as you received from us instruction as to how you ought to walk and please God (just as you actually do walk), that you may and excel still more. For you know what commandments we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God; and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification. Consequently, he who rejects this is not rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you.
The bottom line is sex for us who are single, needs to wait until marriage.
When we are in disobedient in this area, there will be consequences that we will pay in the future. You will carry an emotional baggage in your life as a result from sexual relationship before marriage.
Just think about this, if you with your dating partner can abstain from sex before marriage, to have self-control in this area, just imagine how this will build the confidence in your relationship on setting up boundaries on other things in your relationship and throughout your life. Things such as setting boundaries in handling finance, raising and handling your children, interaction with the opposite sex and etc. If you take sex out of the equation in your relationship, you can have the time to really get to know each other, to build on your relationship, to deepen your friendship, to deepen your intimate emotional relationship.
Sex is defined as oral or genital stimulation to orgasm outside the clothes or underneath the clothes and genital intercourse.
So how do we set the limits?
1. Spend some time to write a purity covenant before God with your partner. Slip it in your bible as a reminder.
2. Have an accountability partner. Find someone the same gender as you are, that you trust that can challenge you in this area.
3. Remove the temptation from your relationship. For example avoid spending time together alone in the bedroom late at night, avoid putting yourselves in a situation where the sexual temptation may arise and stay out of the “swimsuit” area of your body (use your imagination) until you both get married.
If you honor God in this area, God will honor your relationship.
To those of you who remains a virgin and honors God with your purity, God bless you, God bless you that in this sex crazed culture you have won this battle. Don’t let other people undermine you and don’t let other people make fun of you because of your choice to remain pure before God.
To those of you who had not remain pure in this area, those who had made compromise in the past in the area of sexual purity, “as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us”, God forgave you and you have to draw a line in the sand from now on and decided to make a new commitment before Christ.
Dating Commandment IX:
Thou Shalt Seek Wise Counsel!
Wisdom is learning from other people and not to repeat their mistake. Learn the wisdom from the bible, from this love letter from God and ask God for wisdom. Learn from godly couples that you know and try to soak the wisdom that came from their successful marriage. Good marriage is a hard work, but the pay off is well worth it. Be the best student of your partner.
Dating Commandment X:
Thou Shalt Not Ignore the Warning Signs!
Be wise. Don’t jump in to fast in a dating relationship. You will recognize these warning signals when you get know someone more and more, do not ignore them. Have a moment of reflection on those signals.
On final note, for those of you who are dating or thinking about dating, honor God with your relationship. Keep yourself pure, and grow spiritually together, don't let your dating partner pull you away from Christ and pull you away from serving God. No one person is worth it, compared to the love that God has lavished us in pour life.
Remember for all of you singles out there, that when Lord Jesus was in this world, He was a single man and He did miraculous things in His ministry. You too as a single can have a complete life, a wonderful ministry to further the Kingdom of God.
* Special thanks to WCCC
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
The 10 Commandments of Dating (Part 2)
Dating Commandment IV:
Thou shalt not isolate!
Often times we saw ourselves or our friends disappear after they got into a relationship. Vanished and never to be found. This is actually is pretty unhealthy, for a relationship to be healthy we need feedback from people that we trust and care about our best interest.
Dating Commandment V:
Thou shalt stand firm in thy faith!
NO MISSIONARY DATING!
What is that? It is a long term relationship with a non-believer hoping that someday we can change them to be a Christ follower. Only they and God can change them.
Please don't fall in love with someone who is not in love with your First Love, Jesus Christ.
The Apostle Paul warned the believers in
"Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?" (2 Cor 6: 14-15)
When 2 cattle are yoked together, they will lift each other's load to go forward. The stronger cattle will actually carry the weaker cattle in the same yoke. Now imagine if the two cattle have unequal yoke, one will go to the left and one will go to the right, one will drag the other, imagine the frustration.
Even a relationship between two believers, we need to know where each other is in their spiritual journey. Ask deep questions about their faith journey in first 1-3 dates to find out about how they accepted Christ, how is their serving life, their prayer life, etc.
Couple with same faith that serve together and pray together will have a better chance of success in their marriage.
If you caved in to compromise about your faith in your relationship, there might be some underlining issues that you need to ponder and address. Issues such as acceptance, neediness, etc.
Dating Commandment VI:
Thou shalt learn to fight fair!
FIGHT IS INEVITABLE!
It is not a question of if, it is a question of when.
Asses yourselves on how you handle conflict:
Is it:
1. Withdrawal?
Avoid conflict at all cost, passive, no talking about it. This is Unhealthy way.
2. Give-In Style?
The people pleaser. This requires no courage but high on consideration for other. This is also Unhealthy way.
3. Stand Your Ground?
My way or the highway. This requires big courage but low consideration for other. You could win the battle but could lose the relationship. This is also Unhealthy way.
4. Compromise?
Let's meet each other halfway. This requires lots of courage and has high consideration for other. Be honest to each other. This is a healthy way.
5. Collaborative?
Our way. This requires lots of courage and has the highest consideration for other. This is the BEST way.
If you made mistakes, this is a very BAD way to apologize:
"I'm sorry you feel that way..."
"I apologized, now your turn."
This is pretty insincere apologies.
We are not a mind reader, therefore the great need to communicate. We don't know the motive when our loved one made the offence.
"...bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do." (Colossians 3: 13)
When you like to mend your relationship with your love one, you should say these 3 things sincerely:
1. I'm sorry. (Not, I'm sorry, but...)
2. Please forgive me, when you ready.
3. I forgive you (if the other is asking for forgiveness).
...to be continued.
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