Dating Commandment VII:
Thou Shalt be Dedicated to Grow!
The most frustrated and miserable people in marriages are those who married a spouse who are not willing to grow. By grow it means identify what needs to be worked on in a relationship and do whatever it needs to do in that relationship. It maybe by reading a book, getting resources, joining a bible study group or even going to a Christian counseling. Find someone who has an open mind and willing to grow. We are always growing. It’s either we are growing to get closer to Christ or move away from Him.
Dating Commandment VIII:
Thou Shalt Have a Healthy Boundary Around Sex! (Caution: Adult Mature Theme)
SAVE SEX FOR MARRIAGE!
God sets up boundaries around sex, because He loves you and He doesn’t want you to get hurt. When you close sexually to a person, you are giving all of yourself to that person. It is one of the most close intimate experience you will ever have, and God wants to protect you by having that experience in a context of a marriage, in a committed love in marriage. God knows how delicate your heart is in this area.
Sexual Purity Verses:
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything. Food is for the stomach, and the stomach is for food; but God will do away with both of them. Yet the body is not for immorality, but for the Lord; and the Lord is for the body. Now God has not only raised the Lord, but will also raise us up through His power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? May it never be! Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a harlot is one body with her? For He says, “The two will become one flesh.” But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body.
Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
Galatians 5:19 - 21 Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you just as I have forewarned you that those who practice such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
Ephesians 5:3 But do not let immorality or any impurity or greed even be named among you, as is proper among saints.
1 Thessalonians 4:1 – 8 Finally then, brethren, we request and exhort you in the Lord Jesus, that, as you received from us instruction as to how you ought to walk and please God (just as you actually do walk), that you may and excel still more. For you know what commandments we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God; and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification. Consequently, he who rejects this is not rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you.
The bottom line is sex for us who are single, needs to wait until marriage.
When we are in disobedient in this area, there will be consequences that we will pay in the future. You will carry an emotional baggage in your life as a result from sexual relationship before marriage.
Just think about this, if you with your dating partner can abstain from sex before marriage, to have self-control in this area, just imagine how this will build the confidence in your relationship on setting up boundaries on other things in your relationship and throughout your life. Things such as setting boundaries in handling finance, raising and handling your children, interaction with the opposite sex and etc. If you take sex out of the equation in your relationship, you can have the time to really get to know each other, to build on your relationship, to deepen your friendship, to deepen your intimate emotional relationship.
Sex is defined as oral or genital stimulation to orgasm outside the clothes or underneath the clothes and genital intercourse.
So how do we set the limits?
1. Spend some time to write a purity covenant before God with your partner. Slip it in your bible as a reminder.
2. Have an accountability partner. Find someone the same gender as you are, that you trust that can challenge you in this area.
3. Remove the temptation from your relationship. For example avoid spending time together alone in the bedroom late at night, avoid putting yourselves in a situation where the sexual temptation may arise and stay out of the “swimsuit” area of your body (use your imagination) until you both get married.
If you honor God in this area, God will honor your relationship.
To those of you who remains a virgin and honors God with your purity, God bless you, God bless you that in this sex crazed culture you have won this battle. Don’t let other people undermine you and don’t let other people make fun of you because of your choice to remain pure before God.
To those of you who had not remain pure in this area, those who had made compromise in the past in the area of sexual purity, “as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us”, God forgave you and you have to draw a line in the sand from now on and decided to make a new commitment before Christ.
Dating Commandment IX:
Thou Shalt Seek Wise Counsel!
Wisdom is learning from other people and not to repeat their mistake. Learn the wisdom from the bible, from this love letter from God and ask God for wisdom. Learn from godly couples that you know and try to soak the wisdom that came from their successful marriage. Good marriage is a hard work, but the pay off is well worth it. Be the best student of your partner.
Dating Commandment X:
Thou Shalt Not Ignore the Warning Signs!
Be wise. Don’t jump in to fast in a dating relationship. You will recognize these warning signals when you get know someone more and more, do not ignore them. Have a moment of reflection on those signals.
On final note, for those of you who are dating or thinking about dating, honor God with your relationship. Keep yourself pure, and grow spiritually together, don't let your dating partner pull you away from Christ and pull you away from serving God. No one person is worth it, compared to the love that God has lavished us in pour life.
Remember for all of you singles out there, that when Lord Jesus was in this world, He was a single man and He did miraculous things in His ministry. You too as a single can have a complete life, a wonderful ministry to further the Kingdom of God.
* Special thanks to WCCC
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
The 10 Commandments of Dating (Part 2)
Dating Commandment IV:
Thou shalt not isolate!
Often times we saw ourselves or our friends disappear after they got into a relationship. Vanished and never to be found. This is actually is pretty unhealthy, for a relationship to be healthy we need feedback from people that we trust and care about our best interest.
Dating Commandment V:
Thou shalt stand firm in thy faith!
NO MISSIONARY DATING!
What is that? It is a long term relationship with a non-believer hoping that someday we can change them to be a Christ follower. Only they and God can change them.
Please don't fall in love with someone who is not in love with your First Love, Jesus Christ.
The Apostle Paul warned the believers in
"Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?" (2 Cor 6: 14-15)
When 2 cattle are yoked together, they will lift each other's load to go forward. The stronger cattle will actually carry the weaker cattle in the same yoke. Now imagine if the two cattle have unequal yoke, one will go to the left and one will go to the right, one will drag the other, imagine the frustration.
Even a relationship between two believers, we need to know where each other is in their spiritual journey. Ask deep questions about their faith journey in first 1-3 dates to find out about how they accepted Christ, how is their serving life, their prayer life, etc.
Couple with same faith that serve together and pray together will have a better chance of success in their marriage.
If you caved in to compromise about your faith in your relationship, there might be some underlining issues that you need to ponder and address. Issues such as acceptance, neediness, etc.
Dating Commandment VI:
Thou shalt learn to fight fair!
FIGHT IS INEVITABLE!
It is not a question of if, it is a question of when.
Asses yourselves on how you handle conflict:
Is it:
1. Withdrawal?
Avoid conflict at all cost, passive, no talking about it. This is Unhealthy way.
2. Give-In Style?
The people pleaser. This requires no courage but high on consideration for other. This is also Unhealthy way.
3. Stand Your Ground?
My way or the highway. This requires big courage but low consideration for other. You could win the battle but could lose the relationship. This is also Unhealthy way.
4. Compromise?
Let's meet each other halfway. This requires lots of courage and has high consideration for other. Be honest to each other. This is a healthy way.
5. Collaborative?
Our way. This requires lots of courage and has the highest consideration for other. This is the BEST way.
If you made mistakes, this is a very BAD way to apologize:
"I'm sorry you feel that way..."
"I apologized, now your turn."
This is pretty insincere apologies.
We are not a mind reader, therefore the great need to communicate. We don't know the motive when our loved one made the offence.
"...bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do." (Colossians 3: 13)
When you like to mend your relationship with your love one, you should say these 3 things sincerely:
1. I'm sorry. (Not, I'm sorry, but...)
2. Please forgive me, when you ready.
3. I forgive you (if the other is asking for forgiveness).
...to be continued.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
The Dark Side Of Halloween
The church that I went to when I was in college had a strong believe against Halloween. One of their main income was from a thrift store, yet during Haloween season, they wouldn't sell any related Halloween accessories and chose to loose thousands of dollars of their sales by doing what they believe is right. It trully got me thinking about Halloween and made me do a deeper research about it.
History of Halloween
Back to the ancient religion of the Celtics (Ireland), there was a celebration called Samhain, the time when the division between the natural and supernatural became very thin, the order of the universe is suspended, and the spirits of the dead move freely among men. The priests who led the rituals generally offer sacrifices (crops, animals, & sometimes humans), in order to placate (meredam kemarahan) the gods and frightening away evil spirits. In the 7th century, as the influence of Christianity spread into Celtic lands, Pope Boniface IV introduced All Saints' Day, to replace the festival of the dead, thus became All Hallows' Eve ('hallow' means 'saint').
The origins of trick-or-treat was the supreme night of demonic jubilation. Spirits of the dead would rise out of their graves, and frightened villagers tried to appease (menenangkan) them by offering gifts. They're feared that the spirits would harm them or destroy their property. They wear masks and blackening the face with soot were originally ways of hiding themselves from the spirits of the dead. The Jack-o-lantern (pumpkin festival) is the ancient symbol of a damned soul. Pumpkins were cut with faces representing demons and was originally intended to frighten away evil spirits. They would have been left outside the home to burn through the night.
Witches are dominant themes of the holiday and are really just one side of a modern revival of paganism. Halloween represents the beginning of the witches year. At this time the power of the underworld is unleashed, and is considered the best time to contact spirits. The apostle Paul said Witchcraft is one of the acts of the sinful nature and those who practice it will not inherit the kingdom of God (Galatians 5:16-21; Revelation 22:15).
What's Christians Got To Do With It?
As believers, we are called to "Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil. [1 Thesalonians 5:21-22] Who can deny that virtually all of the symbols of Halloween are evil? Witches, monsters, ogres, ghosts, goblins and demons all portray evil. Christians are to "... have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them." [Ephesians 5:11]
Is Halloween just another innocent holiday that doesn't harm anyone? Should churches compromise to the culture? "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." [Romans 12:2]"For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial?" [2 Corinthians 6:14, 15]
When the world celebrates the Festival of Samhain and the powers of darkness by masquerading as evil creatures or decorating our homes, schools, businesses and churches with occult symbols, Satan is glorified. The sort of practices celebrated on Halloween are what defiled the ancient nations [Leviticus 18:24-30].
The Israelites were warned against such practices when they entered the Promised Land.Let no one be found among you who sacrifices his son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the LORD, and because of these detestable practices the LORD your God will drive out those nations before you. You must be blameless before the LORD your God. The nations you will dispossess listen to those who practice sorcery or divination. But as for you, the LORD your God has not permitted you to do so. [Deuteronomy 18:10-14]
Halloween is a serious business for Satanists!! Some may say, "But we only do this in fun, we don't practice witchcraft," those things that represent Satan and his domain cannot be considered "for fun".
Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. (John 3:19-20)
Wake up Christians!! Halloween is the night of evil and we, as believers, should have nothing to do with it.We are all accountable for our choices, ignorance is no excuse. The choice is up to us...
History of Halloween
Back to the ancient religion of the Celtics (Ireland), there was a celebration called Samhain, the time when the division between the natural and supernatural became very thin, the order of the universe is suspended, and the spirits of the dead move freely among men. The priests who led the rituals generally offer sacrifices (crops, animals, & sometimes humans), in order to placate (meredam kemarahan) the gods and frightening away evil spirits. In the 7th century, as the influence of Christianity spread into Celtic lands, Pope Boniface IV introduced All Saints' Day, to replace the festival of the dead, thus became All Hallows' Eve ('hallow' means 'saint').
The origins of trick-or-treat was the supreme night of demonic jubilation. Spirits of the dead would rise out of their graves, and frightened villagers tried to appease (menenangkan) them by offering gifts. They're feared that the spirits would harm them or destroy their property. They wear masks and blackening the face with soot were originally ways of hiding themselves from the spirits of the dead. The Jack-o-lantern (pumpkin festival) is the ancient symbol of a damned soul. Pumpkins were cut with faces representing demons and was originally intended to frighten away evil spirits. They would have been left outside the home to burn through the night.
Witches are dominant themes of the holiday and are really just one side of a modern revival of paganism. Halloween represents the beginning of the witches year. At this time the power of the underworld is unleashed, and is considered the best time to contact spirits. The apostle Paul said Witchcraft is one of the acts of the sinful nature and those who practice it will not inherit the kingdom of God (Galatians 5:16-21; Revelation 22:15).
What's Christians Got To Do With It?
As believers, we are called to "Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil. [1 Thesalonians 5:21-22] Who can deny that virtually all of the symbols of Halloween are evil? Witches, monsters, ogres, ghosts, goblins and demons all portray evil. Christians are to "... have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them." [Ephesians 5:11]
Is Halloween just another innocent holiday that doesn't harm anyone? Should churches compromise to the culture? "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." [Romans 12:2]"For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial?" [2 Corinthians 6:14, 15]
When the world celebrates the Festival of Samhain and the powers of darkness by masquerading as evil creatures or decorating our homes, schools, businesses and churches with occult symbols, Satan is glorified. The sort of practices celebrated on Halloween are what defiled the ancient nations [Leviticus 18:24-30].
The Israelites were warned against such practices when they entered the Promised Land.Let no one be found among you who sacrifices his son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the LORD, and because of these detestable practices the LORD your God will drive out those nations before you. You must be blameless before the LORD your God. The nations you will dispossess listen to those who practice sorcery or divination. But as for you, the LORD your God has not permitted you to do so. [Deuteronomy 18:10-14]
Halloween is a serious business for Satanists!! Some may say, "But we only do this in fun, we don't practice witchcraft," those things that represent Satan and his domain cannot be considered "for fun".
Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. (John 3:19-20)
Wake up Christians!! Halloween is the night of evil and we, as believers, should have nothing to do with it.We are all accountable for our choices, ignorance is no excuse. The choice is up to us...
Monday, October 20, 2008
Encouragement
One of the ways people improve is by seeking others' opinion. It's usually after one person finishes a task when he/she asks for feedback. A feedback can be positive or negative, and usually it depends on how the person actually did.
Say, the person looking for the feedback is A.
If I think A does a good job, especially in comparison to others, I will say, "Congratulations!! You did such a great job!" or "Wow! That was amazing!" or "I am so proud of you!" Plus, I will say all that will full excitement.
If I think A does an ok job, I will say, "Hey, good job!", or "That was nice!", or "You certainly have trained hard for it!" And I probably smile while saying that.
If I think A does a not-so-good to awful job, I will probably say things in the line of: "Good job, but you can do (this part) better" or "Nice try, why don't you do (this part) (in a different way) next time." Sometimes, I don't say anything at all, just to avoid A getting discouraged.
Now, I would like to first limit the scope of this reflection to cover A's actions that are not morally/spiritually related, but just ordinary, daily routines or work. And I want to bring this up in the matter of Encouragement and Appreciation. I used to be pretty thrifty in giving those. I would only say "Great" if it's really great, and most of the time, things are merely "Ok".
It was about two years ago when I first experienced first-hand the power of encouragement and praise. It was the first time I did something and everybody threw rains of compliments, -even though- I know I did ok, not great. But instantly I realized how encouraging it was, and how happy I became. In this group, even when one of us made mistakes, others would focus on his/her motivation and thus give lavish and sincere appreciations. To this day, I have never got negative review, yet still continuously improving in what I do. In a way, the compliments make me try to live up to the high expectation.
I used to argue that this technique won't work all the time. In some cases, we should bring up the mistakes, being hopeful that the person will correct it next time. Sometimes though, we fall into being too focused on the problem and sound accusative, thus we fail to help the person to improve. So, what should we do?
Recently I am reading the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. It is a great book, which I definitely recommend you to read, too. As soon as I finish it, you can borrow it :).
There are multiple chapters in the book that discuss "how to be nice and criticize others at the same time." I pick only two chapters to get these two rules:
This book is full of examples, many of which are too long to quote here. So I pick these shorter ones, quoted exactly as in the book:
Many people begin their criticism with sincere praise followed by the word "but" and ending with a critical statement. For example, in trying to change a child's careless attitude toward studies, we might say, "We're really proud of you Johnnie, for raising your grades this term. But if you had worked harder on your algebra, the results would have been better."
In this case, Johnnie might feel encouraged until he heard the word "but." He might then questioned the sincerity of the original praise. To him, the praise seemed only to be a contrived lead-in to a critical inference of failure.
This could be easily overcome by changing the word "but" to "and." "We're really proud of you Johnnie, for raising your grades this term, and by continuing the same conscientious efforts next term, your algebra grade can be up with all the others."
For the first few days of the work, when Mrs. Jacob returned from her job, she noticed that her yard was strewn with the cut ends of lumber. She didn't want to antagonize the builders, because they did excellent work. So after the workers had gone home, she and her children picked up and neatly piled all the lumber debris in a corner. The following morning she called the foremen to one side and said, "I'm really pleased with the way the front lawn was left last night: it is nice and clean and does not offend the neighbors." From that day forward the workers picked up and piled all the debris to one side, and the foremen came in each day seeking approval of the condition the lawn was left in after a day's work.
I started thinking about this not while reading from the bible, but I'm sure the bible talks about encouragement and praises. Here are some verses that I think are relevant:
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.
Proverbs 15:2
The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.
Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
I myself am still learning to apply this in my interaction with other people. So far it has helped me to be more careful with my choice of words, try to look at other people from their positive sides, and just be supportive to them.
Say, the person looking for the feedback is A.
If I think A does a good job, especially in comparison to others, I will say, "Congratulations!! You did such a great job!" or "Wow! That was amazing!" or "I am so proud of you!" Plus, I will say all that will full excitement.
If I think A does an ok job, I will say, "Hey, good job!", or "That was nice!", or "You certainly have trained hard for it!" And I probably smile while saying that.
If I think A does a not-so-good to awful job, I will probably say things in the line of: "Good job, but you can do (this part) better" or "Nice try, why don't you do (this part) (in a different way) next time." Sometimes, I don't say anything at all, just to avoid A getting discouraged.
Now, I would like to first limit the scope of this reflection to cover A's actions that are not morally/spiritually related, but just ordinary, daily routines or work. And I want to bring this up in the matter of Encouragement and Appreciation. I used to be pretty thrifty in giving those. I would only say "Great" if it's really great, and most of the time, things are merely "Ok".
It was about two years ago when I first experienced first-hand the power of encouragement and praise. It was the first time I did something and everybody threw rains of compliments, -even though- I know I did ok, not great. But instantly I realized how encouraging it was, and how happy I became. In this group, even when one of us made mistakes, others would focus on his/her motivation and thus give lavish and sincere appreciations. To this day, I have never got negative review, yet still continuously improving in what I do. In a way, the compliments make me try to live up to the high expectation.
I used to argue that this technique won't work all the time. In some cases, we should bring up the mistakes, being hopeful that the person will correct it next time. Sometimes though, we fall into being too focused on the problem and sound accusative, thus we fail to help the person to improve. So, what should we do?
Recently I am reading the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. It is a great book, which I definitely recommend you to read, too. As soon as I finish it, you can borrow it :).
There are multiple chapters in the book that discuss "how to be nice and criticize others at the same time." I pick only two chapters to get these two rules:
- Begin with praise and honest appreciation
- Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly
This book is full of examples, many of which are too long to quote here. So I pick these shorter ones, quoted exactly as in the book:
Many people begin their criticism with sincere praise followed by the word "but" and ending with a critical statement. For example, in trying to change a child's careless attitude toward studies, we might say, "We're really proud of you Johnnie, for raising your grades this term. But if you had worked harder on your algebra, the results would have been better."
In this case, Johnnie might feel encouraged until he heard the word "but." He might then questioned the sincerity of the original praise. To him, the praise seemed only to be a contrived lead-in to a critical inference of failure.
This could be easily overcome by changing the word "but" to "and." "We're really proud of you Johnnie, for raising your grades this term, and by continuing the same conscientious efforts next term, your algebra grade can be up with all the others."
For the first few days of the work, when Mrs. Jacob returned from her job, she noticed that her yard was strewn with the cut ends of lumber. She didn't want to antagonize the builders, because they did excellent work. So after the workers had gone home, she and her children picked up and neatly piled all the lumber debris in a corner. The following morning she called the foremen to one side and said, "I'm really pleased with the way the front lawn was left last night: it is nice and clean and does not offend the neighbors." From that day forward the workers picked up and piled all the debris to one side, and the foremen came in each day seeking approval of the condition the lawn was left in after a day's work.
I started thinking about this not while reading from the bible, but I'm sure the bible talks about encouragement and praises. Here are some verses that I think are relevant:
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.
Proverbs 15:2
The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.
Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
I myself am still learning to apply this in my interaction with other people. So far it has helped me to be more careful with my choice of words, try to look at other people from their positive sides, and just be supportive to them.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
The Ten Commandments of Dating (Part 1)
Some of us is dating now, thinking about dating or just done with the whole dating thing... I want to share what I learned last wednesday at church. As a singles group, I hope that this will be beneficial for all of us to learn how we are as a Christian should date. No doubt that the Christian view of dating is different that the world view of dating. Don't let the world teach you theology.
Relationship and dating, they all start with YOU. No one else can make you happy, whole or complete. You must be solid and complete all by yourself.
Do you know who you are?
Do you feel good about yourself?
Do you have a solid sense of worth and value?
REMEMBER – It all starts with you!
Dating Commandment I:
Thou shalt get a life!
Pursue your life now, don’t put it off to the future.
Pursue your dream and goal in life now. Some people put their life on hold until they found the one. If I met someone then…If I got married, then…If I owned a house, then…If I found the perfect job, then…You could be missing the best years of your life. You could be missing the blessing that God has in store for you.
Dating Commandment II:
Thou shalt have the same values!
Find out and write down what would be your values.
Figure out what are your non-negotiables and what are your negotiables in a relationship.
Don’t let your non-negotiables be your negotiables!
Examples of values:
- Relationally intimate with God and other people
- Family oriented
- Spiritually mature
- Sexually pure
- Servanthood
- Financially mature
- Committed to growing
- Playtime (Fun !)
- Active in church
Find out also if the person that you like has good characters mentioned in Galatians 5: 22:
Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-control.
Test these characters in that person, observe how they relate and treat other people, observe if you can see these characters manifested in their life.
Don’t try to change a person later in the relationship! (either they have these characters or they don’t).
Dating Commandment III:
Thou shalt go deep to build a foundation!
(Relational Intimacy, not physical intimacy)
Communication! Communication! Communication!
Build a strong foundation in a relationship through communication.
Ask yourself these questions:
- What qualities draw you to this person?
- What is the level of sharing in this relationship?
- Do you feel safe? Can you be honest? Open? Able to be silly or serious? Able to be comfortable?
There are more to come and I will try to be a better learner and to take better notes to share with everybody.
(To be continued….)
Relationship and dating, they all start with YOU. No one else can make you happy, whole or complete. You must be solid and complete all by yourself.
Do you know who you are?
Do you feel good about yourself?
Do you have a solid sense of worth and value?
REMEMBER – It all starts with you!
Dating Commandment I:
Thou shalt get a life!
Pursue your life now, don’t put it off to the future.
Pursue your dream and goal in life now. Some people put their life on hold until they found the one. If I met someone then…If I got married, then…If I owned a house, then…If I found the perfect job, then…You could be missing the best years of your life. You could be missing the blessing that God has in store for you.
Dating Commandment II:
Thou shalt have the same values!
Find out and write down what would be your values.
Figure out what are your non-negotiables and what are your negotiables in a relationship.
Don’t let your non-negotiables be your negotiables!
Examples of values:
- Relationally intimate with God and other people
- Family oriented
- Spiritually mature
- Sexually pure
- Servanthood
- Financially mature
- Committed to growing
- Playtime (Fun !)
- Active in church
Find out also if the person that you like has good characters mentioned in Galatians 5: 22:
Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-control.
Test these characters in that person, observe how they relate and treat other people, observe if you can see these characters manifested in their life.
Don’t try to change a person later in the relationship! (either they have these characters or they don’t).
Dating Commandment III:
Thou shalt go deep to build a foundation!
(Relational Intimacy, not physical intimacy)
Communication! Communication! Communication!
Build a strong foundation in a relationship through communication.
Ask yourself these questions:
- What qualities draw you to this person?
- What is the level of sharing in this relationship?
- Do you feel safe? Can you be honest? Open? Able to be silly or serious? Able to be comfortable?
There are more to come and I will try to be a better learner and to take better notes to share with everybody.
(To be continued….)
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Dog Theology
What is it about a wiener dog that we love so much? Is it the long snout, the long droopy ears, the big paws and short legs? Or is it the bossy domineering attitude despite the petite profile? One thing for sure though that puppy dog loves to see its master comes home, excitingly wagging its tail and all. It’s been waiting patiently all day for the master to return and together taking a stroll in the neighborhood. The dog loves spending time at its master’s feet, being around, spending time with its master and riding in a car, shotgun, leaving a trail of snout marks on the window. What a loyal creature…(Although an intermittent whining made me thought that the proper name for it should be a whiner dog).
A dog will think: “Wow, you feed me, you take care of me, you love me, wow, you must be god.” Unlike cat that thinks: “Wow, you feed me, you take care of me, you love me, wow, I must be god.” (Cat lovers, please don’t send me emails, and yes, you should be ashamed of yourselves…haha).
Sunday, September 14, 2008
I was feeling pretty overwhelmed earlier.. not as a result of any specific issue but a multitude of them. Especially now is the end of the weekend. I didn't finish all the things I have planned to finish. Sigh.
Then I read a devotion from K-Love, which I'd like to share here. It says:
When trouble comes, do these three things:
1. Get alone with God.
Psalm 27:5 says, "In the time of trouble, He shall hide me in His pavilion"
All hell could break loose around you but it didn't matter, in the secret place there was peace.
Are you allowing things to overwhelm you that really don't make a difference?
Are you upset over things that should be dismissed as trivialities?
2. Refuse to live beyond help because you have an image to uphold.
The Bible says those of us who are strong ought to bear the burdens of the weak. There are times when we need to do the lifting; and times when we ourselves need to be lifted.
3. Be sensitive to the voice of the Holy Spirit for He will constantly remind you of God's plan, and show you how to carry it out.
And here is Jesus' promise in John 14 that really comforted me tonight.
John 14:15-27
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever--the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him."
Then Judas (not Judas Iscariot) said, "But, Lord, why do you intend to show yourself to us and not to the world?"
Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. He who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.
"All this I have spoken while still with you. But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Then I read a devotion from K-Love, which I'd like to share here. It says:
When trouble comes, do these three things:
1. Get alone with God.
Psalm 27:5 says, "In the time of trouble, He shall hide me in His pavilion"
All hell could break loose around you but it didn't matter, in the secret place there was peace.
Are you allowing things to overwhelm you that really don't make a difference?
Are you upset over things that should be dismissed as trivialities?
2. Refuse to live beyond help because you have an image to uphold.
The Bible says those of us who are strong ought to bear the burdens of the weak. There are times when we need to do the lifting; and times when we ourselves need to be lifted.
3. Be sensitive to the voice of the Holy Spirit for He will constantly remind you of God's plan, and show you how to carry it out.
And here is Jesus' promise in John 14 that really comforted me tonight.
John 14:15-27
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever--the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him."
Then Judas (not Judas Iscariot) said, "But, Lord, why do you intend to show yourself to us and not to the world?"
Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. He who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.
"All this I have spoken while still with you. But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)